Moments of Light

I've been in a bit of a haze lately. This morning feels different, like the fog has lifted a bit, so I thought I’d take the time to write down some of what we’ve been up to lately. It’s been a busy time, but mostly I’ve just been struggling to keep my depression from swallowing me whole, and that’s a full time job some days. But there are some moments of light.

~ We recently started having once a week ‘Family Meetings’ on Sunday nights. We have some family devotions, which involve talking through scripture, and then share praise points from the past week. Last night, Boy said he was thankful to Wiseguy for calming him down when he’s scared at night. I was all awwww until Wiseguy cracked up laughing and said that Boy is only scared at night because he purposely reads a book about natural disasters before lights out and then gets all freaked out about asteroids and global warming. LOL.

~ Hubby and I actually got to have a real conversation yesterday, almost uninterrupted! One of those where-to-from-here talks, when it’s just the two of us, Jesus, and a cup of good coffee. The kind we usually have to go on holiday to achieve. I think that might be partly why I’m feeling a little better today than I have for a while. Nice to know we’re still on the same page, and still moving forward.

~ Froggie has learned to say “Don’t”. Hubby and I were playfighting – ok, actually he was on the laptop and I started biting him to annoy him – and Hubby started yelling don’t at me. Next thing we know, there’s Froggie, all serious, his hand up, yelling “Don’t!” clear as day. Now he spends half his time telling people off and then laughing at them. (I just offered him a piece of my toast. He threw it on the ground,  put his hand up and said “don’t!” with a rather stern look on his face. It’s cute right now, but I bet it’s gonna get old pretty fast.)

~ Sports start this week. I’m half-in-half between looking forward to it and dreading it. The weather has well and truly changed over the weekend. We had thunder and lightning this morning, ugh. So ewww to the thought of standing down at the hockey turf late into the night on Wednesday in the rain, but at the same time, yayyy a new hockey season! I actually love watching my kids play hockey, and this year both Boy and Princess have joined the school teams. It will be the first time for Princess, so I can’t wait to see how she goes. Wiseguy has signed up for boxing as his school sport. He’s pretty excited about it, thankfully it’s during school time so I don’t get to watch.

~ Photo-a-day April was a lot of fun, even though I didn’t do every day (let’s face it, we all knew I wouldn’t do every day, but I actually surprised myself with how often I did remember to do it). Tomorrow is a new month, and a new list. I think I’ll do it again in May, since I enjoyed this month so much. Once again, don’t expect too much, I probably won’t get around to doing it every day of May, because it’s meant to be a fun challenge, not a discipline to stress this busy mum out. Let me know if you’re joining in, so I can check out your photos. J

Photo A Day - Day 26 - Black & White

I so love this little guy. 

He makes me smile every day, no matter what's going on

just by being himself.

He has a sense of humour, he's cheeky and fun.

He's brave, adventurous and outgoing.

And he snuggles into his mummy and hugs tightly.

This morning, after we'd dropped the kids off at school

I was putting him into his carseat

and he gave me a big gorgeous smile

and started chatting away in his funny way

and I thought

'I never want you to go to school'.

This is such a special time.

The loads of washing and the lack of sleep can't change that.

I so love this little guy.

xo

Photo A Day - Day 25 - Looking Down

Princess and I had the chance to have some Mummy/Daughter time today for the first time since baby was born. She mentioned a couple of days ago that we haven't had any time out together for ages, and at first I thought we'd had plenty of time together, but as she pointed out, we always have the baby with us, because he is breastfed on demand. My poor little girl was craving some one-on-one time with me. So with today being a public holiday we took the chance to head off to the park together for some golf and a fun photo scavenger hunt. It was so lovely just being with her and listening to her talk and laugh and just being silly together without a baby in my arms. And look at her. Look how beautiful she is.

xo

ANZAC Day

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About my recent barely-there blog posts...

I know it’s been a while since I wrote a proper blog post and really explored my thoughts, but I have a very active, playful baby at the moment. Froggie is busy these days exploring every corner of the house and when he’s not crawling or climbing all over the furniture, he’s chatting away and smiling and laughing, and just generally being awesome.

Then there’s the other three, who are equally awesome and full of energy. Between them they have 2 different schools, 3 sports, choir, 3 different blogs of their own, which I manage, more Photo-A-Day fun, reading, writing, and maths practice, cross-country training, a birthday coming up, an assortment of friends and 3 very vibrant and outgoing personalities that need nurturing. Not to mention all the food they eat, the clothes they wear, the rooms that need cleaning and a million billion questions that need answering every day. So you’ll forgive me if I don’t spend as much time writing for a while!

Any time that I do get to spend on the computer, is usually when I’m sitting down on the couch feeding Froggie, so I’m typing one-handed. Not something I’m particularly good at (or very fast). So, for a season at least, I might be posting in short bursts, a sentence or two with a photo. Because I love these people and I don’t want to miss a second of it.

J

Photo A Day - Day 24 - Something I'm Grateful For

He cooks half the time, despite the fact that he works all day. He does it without complaining, despite the fact that there's always someone who moans that it's not what they like to eat. I'm grateful. xo

Photo A Day - Day 23 - Vegetable

These two cuties love munching on raw carrot.

J

Photo A Day - Day 22 - The last thing we bought

Oh how I wish this was a picture of an iphone.

Photo A day - Day 21 - Bottle

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I didn't take this photo. I saw it today on Facebook and thought it was a great idea, and just had to share it. A head lamp around a bottle of water, makes a great night light for camping or power cuts. So simple!

Create

I believe that all of us are born to create.

She seems to understand this better than anyone.

Give her some paper, pens, stickers, glue, ribbon, anything really...

...and she will create something beautiful and new.

She has a passion and a flair for anything artistic.

It’s beautiful just to watch her get creative.

It’s inspiring to see her make something lovely out of the simplest of materials.

So we’ve decided we need to keep her arts and craft supplies well-stocked.

Because we all were born to create.

And she seems to understand this better than anyone.

Photo A Day - Day 19 - Orange

My favourite ginger is away in Wellington, so I couldn't get the obvious photo for today's prompt L
Lucky for me, Boy happened to be wearing and orange t-shirt.
Roll on Friday. I miss my hubby.

Photo A Day - Day 18 - Hair

Princess came up to me grizzling and whinging about something trivial, and so to change the subject I told her to pull her hair back because when she has it in her face she looks like The Grudge. She's never actually seen The Grudge of course, but my tone let her know it was something creepy, and so all afternoon and evening she's been coming up to me with her hair like this, trying to creep me out. Children are so freakin delightful, aren't they?

WW - The twins are here!

My newest niece and nephew, Jax & Tilly, born on Monday

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Photo A Day - Day 17 - Something I don't like

Can't stand the sight of it, let alone the taste. Hubby loves it, and when I see him smearing it on his toast, I want to throw up. Yuk, marmalade. Ok so this isn't terribly interesting, but it's been a busy day, ok?

Photo A Day - Day 16 - Flower

Although I’ve been totally neglecting FatMumSlim’s photo a day April challenge, I have randomly decided to get back into it today. Princess was very excited about today’s prompt and eagerly grabbed the camera and stepped outside to start snapping shots. She came back in a few minutes later and said “Mum, there’s absolutely no flowers.” She was right, flowers are pretty scarce around here at this time of year, and I’m no gardener, so most of our plants are flax and cutty grass.

So we jumped in the car and headed for the most beautiful gardens we know: Anderson’s Park. The weather was beautiful today, so we had a nice walk through the gardens, then played on the playground for a while. Froggie enjoyed the swing and Princess made a few new friends on the merry-go-round.

Then we visited the Art Gallery, which we’ve always loved but haven’t been inside for a while. Today they had a quiz happening for the kids, since it’s school holidays, so we spent some time walking through and checking everything out to answer the quiz questions. Faith got all her answers right, so she got a sticker and a colouring page to take home.

After that we headed home, baby fell asleep on the way to the car, all tuckered out from his time at the park. And after all that, I forgot to take a photo of the flowers. So I’m sharing the photo that Princess took at the park today. It’s beautiful anyway.

xo

Mind Dump - Musings from the week that was

It’s been a quiet week. The kids are home from school for the holidays and we’ve just been hanging out.

Froggie has gone from commando-crawling to full on crawling on hands and knees, to pulling himself up on the furniture and standing on his feet. And yet he still hasn’t said Mum. The other day he was busy copying every sound Wiseguy made, screaming, howling, funny little noises. So I suggested while he was in the mood to copy, he might say Mum-mum. But no. Wiseguy said “Mum-mum-mum” and Froggie replies with “Bub-bub-bub”. Pffft!

I am reading TheShack. Slowly making my way through the pages, still early in the story. I am Mack and Papa is talking to me. And like Mack, I am somewhere between thirstily drinking in every word and resisting the much-needed nourishment. I want it to be real, I want to be in that shack with ‘Papa’ and in a way I am, I’m standing there and I’m looking at the door and contemplating leaving and knowing that I won’t but a part of me would like to. Because though the story is fiction, the truth of it hits me like a punch in the stomach. It hurts. I am Mack. And I didn’t even know it.

I haven’t forgotten about the Photo-A-Day challenge. I just couldn’t really be bothered with it once the holidays hit, and we had a few days of lazing around in front of DVDs, but I still think it’s a very cool idea, and so I’m rejoining the challenge today. I’m not going to try to catch up, just start again today. I’ll post today’s photo later on today.

Boy is sick today. He spent a couple of nights at a friend’s house and came back yesterday, tired and with a bit of a cough. Then this morning he woke up and threw up. He’s been asleep for most of the day since, and seems to be coming right now though. Poor wee man. I hate when one of my kids aren’t well.

My sister got her wedding photos back. She put some of them on Facebook. This is my favourite.

My Princess and her cousins

I can’t wait to see the rest of them.

This morning my sister-in-law, who is pregnant with twins, was being induced. I haven’t heard anything yet, but we’re all excited to hear about their arrival.

I should go outside. The kids are bored and it’s a beautiful day, so I’m going to stop typing now and go play with them. I will try and post more this week.

xo

Cuddles with Daddy

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Photo A Day - Day 9 - Younger You

That's me on the left in the pink dress. It was my 4th birthday, as you can probably tell from the cake. My mum made that cake, and every time I look at this pic I think to myself 'I bet when she was icing my name onto that cake, she wished she'd given me a shorter name.' Hehe.

That's my brother holding the cake. Don't you love his jersey with the oversized collar? And next to him is my best friends at the time, from down the road. I actually have quite a few pictures of her and me playing together. No actual memories of her, just pictures.

At the back are my two sisters. The older one, who's currently preggo, holding our baby sister, who just got married.

If I close my eyes and block my ears, and think about it hard enough, we're all that young again.

A peek inside our house on Easter morning

Before she went to bed the night before, Princess put baskets out for the easter bunny, in the hopes that he might come and leave some treats during the night.

On Easter morning she woke up to find the crackers gone and the small yellow paper basket missing. In the big basket there was a note saying 

'Are you ready for your Easter hunt?

First, make sure everyone is ready to start looking for your Easter treats.

When you are all ready, look in Mum and Dad’s room.'

When everyone was finally awake (Wiseguy takes a while to pour himself out of bed some mornings!) the annual Easter egg hunt began, with one clue leading to the next and finally, the missing yellow basket was found, packed full of chocolate bars and Freddos for everyone.

The easter bunny even left a copy of the Easter story for us to read together, so we sat down and read  it as the older three kids munched on their chocolates.

At the end of the story was a note - the Easter bunny was not done celebrating Jesus' resurrection. He had hidden some puzzle pieces around the lounge. Finding them and putting them together revealed another stash of chocolate treats.

Princess was happy with her chocolate bunny.

Froggie isn't quite ready for chocolate yet, so he got a new toy.

 Boy took a good look at his treats - then decided to smash all the chocolate into a bowl, which he's been nibbling at happily ever since.

You're never too old to get excited about Easter eggs!

Photo A Day - Day 8 - Inside My Wallet

Inside my wallet I have these three photos of my children. Which is kinda sad really, considering none of them really look like that anymore, and I've had a fourth child since these were taken almost three years ago. I really should do something about it.

Happy Resurrection Day!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

Photo A Day - Day 7 - Shadow

I didn't do yesterday's because the prompt was lunch, and I hate food.

Our dog had a birthday yesterday, kinda. She became part of our family 2 years ago on Good Friday. It was an interesting morning. The kids loved her instantly, and showered her with hugs and kisses.

We were all in the back yard checking out her kennel and Hubby clipped her onto her chain to see how far it stretched and exactly how much of the yard she had access to while still on her chain. As she walked across the lawn, her chain crossed the path where Princess, then 5, was walking. She fell in a limp heap. I was on the phone at the time, talking to my mother as I sat on the back step, and looked up in time to see Hubby rush across and pick Princess up off the ground. He was saying "Stand up, don't be silly, stand up" and trying to put her back onto her feet, but she was still limp. Then suddenly, he turned her so he could see her face. I couldn't see her face, but I could see his, and it was enough to make me drop the phone and run down the path to my beautiful daughter.

Hubby had switched immediately into first aid mode, and had her lying on her back. Her eyes were glassy and cold, her teeth were clenched and her arms were rigid as she held them up by her head. She was having what looked like a seizure. Seconds later she blinked, her eyes focused again and she started crying.

We rushed her to the hospital, where they looked her over and found nothing wrong with her. They thought she probably had just fainted, although to this day I've not been able to understand how a child could faint with teeth clenched and eyes wide open but unseeing. But she was fine, because she was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed chatting away loudly and fidgeting with everything in sight. An ambulance officer who walked past thought she was so cute, and felt so sorry for her when she told him about her new dog and what had happened that he went away and came back with a soft toy dog for her. She still has it, and treasures it.

So when Good Friday rolled around, and I said "hey it's the dog's birthday" Hubby's answer was the same as the year before: "That's right, and it was the day Princess got knocked out and we had to rush her to the hospital." The poor dog. We love her really. But it was a terrifying day we'd really rather forget. It's OK though. Sunday's coming.

Catching up

I haven’t done much writing this week, been too busy catching up after our holiday. But I did want to write about our time away so I can look back on it later, so with everyone home for Good Friday, I’m hoping I might actually have the time now to write it. Hubby is watching a movie and the kids are playing in their room. Fingers crossed, I might actually get to finish this now...

Thurs 22^nd

A looooong day driving to Christchurch. The plan was to leave at about 5am, like I did back in November when I drove up on my own with the kids, but we didn’t actually leave until about 11am. So we arrived in Christchurch pretty late, I think it was about 8pm by the time we got to my sister’s house for a cuppa and something to eat, and then on to Hubby’s Uncle & Aunty’s house to spend the night, arriving there by about 10pm. Yep, it was a long day.

We had a lot of fun on the way though, with plenty of stops and car games. The baby found it the hardest of course, and Hubby and I both ended up sitting in the back with him at different times.

Fri 23^rd

The day before my sister’s wedding, so we went to the reception hall in the morning to help setup, but there wasn’t much to do by the time we got there. Then off to the mall to buy some groceries and have a bit of a look around before lunch. The malls were a bit of a novelty for our kids, since there isn’t one in Invercargill.

After lunch we went to visit my niece and meet her 3 month old baby, my great-nephew for the first time. He was adorable of course, and it was so lovely to be able to cuddle and kiss him finally.

Then we had to head out to Rolleston for the wedding rehearsal, as Princess and I were in the wedding party.  Then Hubby dropped Princess, Froggie and me at my sister’s place for the night and he and the boys went back to his Uncle’s. My sister had her kids, our mother, and all four of her bridesmaids spending the night with her. We spent the night talking, laughing and sniffling our way through years and years of memories.

Sat 24^th

The Wedding Day.

Sun 25^th

Woke up tired and happy to a beautiful morning, and we cruised our way slowly through the day. After packing our things to leave, we said our goodbyes to Hubby’s Uncle and Aunty and headed north for Waiau. We stopped at another mall on the way so the kids could do a bit of shopping, and grabbed some more groceries.

That afternoon we visited the in-laws in Kaiapoi. They’ve had a hard time since the earthquakes, so it was tough seeing them and feeling guilty for not being around. It was good too though, just to be in the same room and watch them with our kids, after not having seen them since November last year.

It was dinnertime by the time we arrived in Waiau at my older sister’s place and we were ready to relax and just be. My brother had travelled up the night before too, so it was great to have him there. He and Froggie formed a pretty special bond in the days that we were there. He even taught him how to ‘High 5’.

Mon 26^th

Lots of time spent talking, laughing, remembering, with my brother and sister. We even watched our wedding video! My sister and her partner are the only ones currently that have a copy of our wedding video, since ours was destroyed, so it was special to watch it. So much that I had forgotten, and Wiseguy was just a baby, and so cute.

That afternoon we went for a walk and visited friends. More talking and laughing.

The kids enjoyed rides on the scooter with their Uncle. He’s such a cool guy, he always finds something fun and different for them to do whenever we visit. It’s never the same thing twice, and he never runs out of ideas.

Tues 27^th

Hamner Springs for the day.

I haven’t been there since I was about 15, so it was so lovely to go again and see how much it had changed, and how much it hadn’t. It was Froggie’s first swim, so my sister was stoked to be able to be there to watch how much he loved the water.

Wed 28^th

Time to go home to Invercargill, and it was hard to say goodbye. Hugs all round, and my sister had a little cry and I promised her I would come back in August when her baby is due.

Another visit with the in-laws on the way, followed by another looooong day of driving. Only this time we didn’t have the wedding day, and the excitement of catching up with friends and family to look forward to.

Thanks God...

...For providing for us throughout our time away.

...For blessing us with so many special moments with friends and family.

...For the lack of ‘family drama’ during the wedding!

...For giving us gorgeous weather to enjoy the whole time we were away.

...For keeping us safe, warm and healthy.

Please God...

...Help me to enjoy life here too, despite being so far away from friends and family.

...Continue to provide for us all our needs.

...Allow us to create special moments as a family, that we all can treasure and remember.

...Provide for me the means to go back to Christchurch and Waiau in a few months to be there for my niece’s birth.

...Continue to keep us safe, warm and healthy.